Vulgar Hands

animalstalkinginallcaps:

THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS LISTENING TO ME COMPLAIN ABOUT MY JOB FOR HOURS ON END EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE NO CLUE WHO ANY OF THE PEOPLE I’M TALKING ABOUT ARE, OR HOW THE BASICS OF MY CHOSEN INDUSTRY FUNCTION.

IN MY HEAD I JUST PICTURE YOUR COWORKERS AS VARIOUS D-LIST TV ACTORS. IT MAKES YOUR COMPLAINING LIKE A LITTLE SHOW. OF COURSE, IT’S A TERRIBLE SHOW AND I HATE ALL THOSE ACTORS NOW, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVEN’T ACTUALLY DONE ANY OF THE THINGS I HATE THEM FOR.

WHAT ABOUT WHEN I DESCRIBE THE JOB ITSELF IN EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING DETAIL?

QUITE HONESTLY, ONCE YOU GO OFF ON SPECIFICS I JUST TUNE YOU OUT AND TRY TO NOD EVERY 30 SECONDS OR SO. SOMETIMES I GO, “UGH” OR “OH, THAT’S TERRIBLE.” IT WORKS ALMOST EVERY TIME.

YOU ARE A HANDSOME GENIUS.

THANK YOU. YOU NEED A NEW JOB.